How Can I Stop Regrets From Overwhelming Me?

I see a young woman at the pool, and as soon as she gets out of the water, she pulls a towel around her - ashamed of God-knows-what imperfection.  Maybe she thinks her butt is a little too big, or her legs are a little too short, or her waist is a little too thick.

And I want to slap (metaphorically, of course) her! She looks great!  If I were her I'd be strutting it - but then i remember, I was that young woman and I also pulled the towel around me, failing to measure up to some imagined and wished for perfection.

But wait - what do I do NOW that my future self would look back on and say - What are you DOING????

A Chance Encounter on the Beach

I met a beautiful young black woman on the beach – only because I said good morning.  She sat down and we talked trivialities a bit, but then the conversation turned more serious, or heartfelt.  She had sold her townhome in the suburbs, moved in with her parents, and she and her boyfriend had decided marriage wasn’t right for them and had broken up. 

As she talked, I could see she was at a crossroads – interestingly, all she saw was that her life was messy.  I could tell she thought deeply about things – in an analytical sense.  But maybe analytical about the wrong things.  As we talked, she painted a picture of the home life she wanted:  a sanctuary, a small space, with special things around her.  She imagined a place downtown, where she could walk to yoga, a coffee shop, a small grocery. 

But she had filled her townhome (and now her parent’s garage) with hand me down furniture, IKEA bookshelves, extra beds, clothing she didn’t wear and kitchen equipment she didn’t even know how to run.  So you’d think she’d use that analytical mind to decide how to get rid of all that ‘stuff’, and find that wonderful small apartment with amenities just a few steps away.  But no, she was using that fine analytical mind to try to find a place where she could fit in all that stuff.

Are you there, too?  Is life telling you “HEY! Here’s a chance to change – reinvent yourself, slough off the old, ill-fitting life – and embrace a new life”?  and are you answering back “YES!”, or are you saying “Well maybe, but first I need to make sure there’s room for all my old furniture and my old thoughts and my old habits and my….”

How about, when life says “HEY! Here’s a chance to make change”, you just say “YES”.